lets start a swedish sibling band together
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
