How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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