remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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