I think scott just propositioned me for sex
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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