I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
