these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
