i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
That accounts for only three of the penises
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
