was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You pole danced in your parka.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
