That's intense
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
