I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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