Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
