So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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