So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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