Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
