I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
