Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
