she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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