so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
