If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
