i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
