I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
