Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
