I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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