You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
