Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
