Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
