This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you inspire me to be a worse person
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
