haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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