Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
