Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
