It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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