she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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