She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm like, not good at living.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
