Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
