Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night

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(516): View more from New York

On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?

(201): View more from New Jersey

Strong 6

(516): View more from New York

That's an oxymoron.

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(408): View more from California

I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.

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(310): View more from California

Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?

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(706): View more from Georgia

six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.

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(719): View more from Colorado

he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong

(813): View more from Florida

Thats admirable.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.

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(314): View more from Missouri

He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.

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