Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
