omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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