I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
