You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
