David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
