I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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