I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
