yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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