I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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