I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
