I love black thongs
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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