The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
