I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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