Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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