Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
